Given the ever increasing number of divorces that occur each year, it is my belief that one thing each couple can do is seek pre-marital counseling as a way to “iron out” issues that could potentially end a marriage in the future. No one gets married with the belief or desire that one day they will be divorcing this person they once thought made their life complete. There are endless reasons and situations that cause marriages to end…having/not having children, infidelity, financial issues, conflict with extended family…the list goes on and on. It is human nature that when planning the happiest day of our lives we overlook the thought that we may need to be having conversations to ensure happily ever after actually stays that way.
When relationships are new we tend to view our partner through rose colored glasses. This being said we may miss out on discussing potential problem areas because we think “we are too strong of a couple to let something like that tear us apart.” Other topics are ones that we may feel we agree on without ever having discussed them before. These situations can lead to a rude awakening when, in fact, you and your partner find out later down the road you have complete opposite views about.
There are many conversations to be had with the person you are planning to spend the rest of your life with. Attending pre-marital counseling can give you each a place to bring up such conversations, which are not all easy to have. You will also get the benefit of having an experienced counselor’s perspective on other topics to discuss that neither you or your partner may have thought about.
Often times men and women enter marriages with opposite views of what that marriage is going to be like. Pre-marital counseling is a place to discuss these expectations and understand your partner’s mindset and perspective. If you are each able to understand the expectations of the other and are able to work out compromises before issues arise later down the road then you can avoid waking up one day wondering, “What the heck was I thinking?”